She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
