Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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