I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She needs sedatives and a leash
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The adults are the big ones right?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
