She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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