We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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