I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
