Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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