i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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