JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
