I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
How external is "for external use only"?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
