There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We are all done wearing pants today
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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