Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just cropdusted the office
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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