I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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