420 ftw
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
