i already hear my dad disowning me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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