So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
