That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
