Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize