I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
