ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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