hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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