Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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