...so i touched it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
