Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
