Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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