Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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