Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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