So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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