I wannas sexs uuuuu
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think people are normalizing furries
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