There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
