i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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