VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
