Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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