We're facebook friends in real life
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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