I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
