I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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