I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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