3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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