is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
