im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
