You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
