Its about making memories worth repressing
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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