it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
