i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
