is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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