just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
