Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
