Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
