They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
