How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
