More tranny stories later!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am one with the molecules
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
