Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
