I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
